I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
