he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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