Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
