Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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