Where are you?
In a non slutty way
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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