the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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