I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
