Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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