This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
