dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
