You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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