Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
did i just pee glitter
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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