Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
