fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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