I puked a lego.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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