dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
