sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
