The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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