Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
