I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
