writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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