So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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