make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we're so committed to being not committed
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