did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
