I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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