I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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