Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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