I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize