this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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