Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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