and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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