just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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