I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
