if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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