My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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