just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
