last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
