i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
