the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
