I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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