Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize