Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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