Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
