Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
