and next time when you feel me up, do it right
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
