dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
