biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
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