So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Randomize
