yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
