My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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