so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
As shirtless as possible
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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