If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
