YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
