Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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