HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
