well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
