it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
