Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the condom got lost in my hair
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
