So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
