Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
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